


Broccoli and Kale

by ELSchaaf



Series: Dr Seuss/Veronica Mars crack!fic [2]
Category: DR. SEUSS - Works, Veronica Mars (Movie 2014), Veronica Mars (TV), Veronica Mars - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-10
Updated: 2014-04-10
Packaged: 2018-01-18 21:39:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1443826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ELSchaaf/pseuds/ELSchaaf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a total crack!fic that was inspired by a debate on Tumblr.  There is a certain portion of the Veronica Mars fandom that has shipped Jason Dohring with toast.  This began when he said in an interview that he thought he was probably in love with Kristen Bell  for the three years of filming which began a discussion of whether or not that should be concerning to his wife. The portion of the fandom that now ships Jason with toast made the statement at that time that, "Oh, that's just Jason. He gushes over everything.  He's probably even in love with and gushes over his toast."  Thus, the Tumblr tag #Jason x Toast was born.  However, this then sparked a new debate.  Others in the fandom said that toast was unhealthy and that it's canon that Jason prefers broccoli and kale.</p>
<p>Therefore, this crack!fic is more or less a back and forth between Logan and Jason set to the rhyme of Dr. Seuss' Green Eggs and Ham.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broccoli and Kale

**Author's Note:**

  * For [toastanonofmystery](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=toastanonofmystery).



I-am-Logan.

 

I-am-Logan.

Logan-I-am

 

That Logan-I-am

That Logan-I-am!

I do not like

that Logan-I-am

 

Do you like

broccoli and kale?

 

I do not like them,

Logan-I-am.

I do not like

broccoli and kale.

 

Would you like them

with beer or ale?

 

I would not like them

with beer or ale.

I would not like them

even on sale.

I do not like

broccoli and kale.

I do not like them,

Logan-I-am.

 

Would you like them

with jam or cheese?

Would you like them

with snow crab or peas?

 

I do not like them

with jam or cheese..

I do not like them

with snow crab or peas.

I do not like them

with beer or ale.

I do not like them

even on sale.

I do not like broccoli and kale.

I do not like them, Logan-I-am.

 

 

Would you eat them

spread with lox?

Would you eat them

while wearing dreadlocks?

 

Not with lox.

Not wearing dreadlocks.

Not with jam or cheese.

Not with snow crab or peas.

I would not eat them beer or ale.

I would not eat them even on sale.

I would not eat toast, broccoli, or kale.

I do not like them, Logan-I-am.

 

Would you? Could you?

with some steam?

Eat them! Eat them!

I swear they’re clean!

 

I would not ,

could not,

with some steam.

 

You may like them.

You will see.

You may like them

with seaweed?

I would not, could not with seaweed.

Not with some steam! You let me be!

 

I do not like them with beer or ale.

I do not like them even on sale

I do not like them with jam or cheese.

I do not like them with snow crab or peas.

I do not like them with lox.

I do not like them while wearing dreadlocks.

I do not like broccoli and kale.

I do not like them, Logan-I-am.

 

A whale! A whale!

A whale! A whale!

Could you, would you

with a whale?

 

Not with a whale! Not with some steam!

Not with seaweed! Logan! Let me be!

I would not, could not, with some lox.

I could not, would not, while wearing dreadlocks.

I will not eat them with beer or ale.

I will not eat them even on sale.

I will not eat them with jam or cheese.

I will not eat them with snow crab or peas.

I do not like them, Logan-I-am.

 

Say!

In a go-kart?

Here in a go-kart!

Would you, could you, in a go-kart?

 

I would not, could not,

in a go-kart.

 

Would you, could you,

off in Spain?

 

I would not, could not, off in Spain.

Not in the dark. Not in a go-kart,

Not with a whale, Not with some steam.

I do not like them, Logan, you see.

Not with seaweed. Not with some lox.

Not with jam or cheese. Not wearing dreadlocks.

I will not eat them with beer or ale.

I do not like them even on sale!

 

You do not like

broccoli and kale?

 

I do not

like them,

Logan-I-am.

 

Could you, would you,

with some oats?

 

I would not,

could not.

with some oats!

 

Would you, could you,

surrounded by boats?

 

I could not, would not, surrounded by boats.

I will not, will not, with some oats.

I will not eat them off in spain.

I will not eat them while using my brain.

Not in the dark! Not in a go-kart!

Not with a whale! Not with some steam!

You let me be!

I do not like them with some lox.

I do not like them while wearing dreadlocks.

I will not eat them with snow crab and peas.

I do not like them with seaweed.

I do not like them with beer or ale.

I do not like them EVEN ON SALE!

 

I do not like

broccoli and kale!

 

I do not like them,

Logan-I-am.

 

You do not like them.

SO you say.

Try them! Try them!

And you may.

Try them and you may I say.

 

Logan!

If you will let me be,

I will try them.

You will see.

 

Say!

I like broccoli and kale!

I do!! I like them, Logan-I-am!

And I would eat them with some oats!

And I would eat them surrounded by boats…

And I will eat them off in Spain.

And in the dark. And while using my brain.

And in a go-kart. And with a whale.

They are so good so good you see!

 

So I will eat them spread with lox.

And I will eat them while wearing dreadlocks.

And I will eat them with snow crab and peas.

And I will eat them with seaweed.

And I will eat them beer or ale.

Say! I will eat them EVEN ON SALE!

 

I do so like

broccoli and kale!

Thank you!

Thank you,

Logan-I-am


End file.
